Em-URGE-ing Voices

Posts Tagged: rape

Dear Emily Yoffe: I Don’t Need Your Advice. Please Stop, Seriously.

Lots of you may have already seen Slate’s recent article “College Women: Stop Getting Drunk.” For those of you who haven’t, Emily Yoffe, the author of Slate’s “Dear Prudence” column, argues that because sexual assault in college is seriously linked to alcohol consumption (and I agree) college-aged women need to stop drinking so much, which will in turn make them responsible for their actions and their safety and apparently reduce the amount of sexual assault.  Yoffe also says that this doesn’t mean you don’t get to have fun in college because she herself has only been hungover three times and had a lot of stupid fun as a young person. Where drunk college women are irresponsible and blame things like alcohol and rapists for what happens to them, Yoffe “always… Read more »

A New Top Priority for College Campuses: Why Your College Needs to Advocate for Survivors

This weekend, my college lost an important part of our community with the passing of our Dean of Students, Bekki Lee.  Bekki was a kind and compassionate listener and activist and the epitome of an advocate for students.  As I sat down to brainstorm for my ChoiceWords post this week I couldn’t bring myself to leave her out.  This week’s post is in honor of Bekki Lee and the vital support she provided which enabled my peers to found the Scripps College Advocates for Survivors of Sexual Assault and her work to help end the proliferation of sexual violence that is too common on residential college campuses. 

“Orange is the New Black”: The Pornstache Problem

Note: Spoilers ahead I’m going to first give “Orange is the New Black” credit where it’s due. This show has had extremely positive reviews with a main female cast, highlighting different walks of life, and showing genuine personality traits the audience can relate to. It’s centered around Piper Chapman, a woman who is doing time for carrying a suitcase of drug money 10 years before. Throughout her time in a women’s prison, she meets a wide variety of characters each with their own storylines. Though it’s one of the most refreshing and progressive shows of our time, it draws attention from reproductive justice followers.

I Am A Woman

Trigger warning: this post contains references to sexual assault and victim blaming.  It was in the back pew of a church where I first learned the universal truth That because I am a woman I am made to be raped, whether it’s with a wine bottle, or that thing between your legs, or even by a state sanctioned invasive medical procedure to tell me that I am not my own but a thing to be ruled and oppressed A woman I was taught through too close bodies and far too anxious hands that “no” means “yes” and “yes” means “whore” I was told that I should be thankful because fat girls don’t get attention, especially black girls, and boy was I lucky They threw words at me like bricks “Situational” and “boys… Read more »

On Being A Woman and Afraid

“Men are afraid that women will laugh at them.  Women are afraid that men will kill them.” – Margaret Atwood I’m pro-choice. I believe in a woman’s right to choose all kinds of things, things like: what she wants in a partner what she wears what she studies (or if she wants to study at all) what she does for a living whether or not to have children and with whom where to live how to live what to eat who to love how to present herself what strangers she wants to talk to how much alcohol she wants to drink what she values who to sleep with and when and how and why where to be and at what time

Unpacking “Schroedinger’s Rapist” or A Guy’s Guide to Approaching Strange Women Without Being Maced

This post is part of a series celebrating Choice USA’s Bro-Choice Week of Action. For more information, please visit our website and take the Bro-Choice pledge.  For those of you unfamiliar with the concept (like I was just last month), Schroedinger’s Rapist is a blog post by Phaedra Starling. The article itself discusses the appropriate way for a man to approach a woman in a public place; men are advised to proceed with caution and consideration of the fact that there is no reasonable way for a woman to know whether or not she is at risk of being assaulted. Starling writes that there is no way for a woman to know that the risk of a strange man approaching her is zero. Here’s the overarching idea: • Our culture downplays the frequency and… Read more »

Steubenville, Rape Culture, and Male Responsibility

This post is part of a series celebrating Choice USA’s Bro-Choice Week of Action. For more information, please visit our website and take the Bro-Choice pledge.  In the aftermath of Steubenville, pundits and reporters have been discussing the different factors that drove the perpetrators to commit such a terrible crime. Some have suggested that it was a lack of parental involvement. Others have wondered if teen drinking is to blame. One factor that has not been discussed in great detail – and one that our society is reluctant to ponder – is our cultural definition of masculinity. One of the ways privilege functions is that we don’t question the socialization of those with power. For instance, when white men commit violent acts of terrorism the news media classifies them as “lone gunmen” who… Read more »

Some Guys Burn Their Bras Too!: A Trans* Guy’s Experiences with Privilege, Violence, and Sexual Assault

This post is part of a series celebrating Choice USA’s Bro-Choice Week of Action. For more information, please visit our website and take the Bro-Choice pledge.  **Trigger Warning – this post includes violence, sexual assault, and explicit language** Picture this: A bony, almond-eyed, lanky tomboy with a terrible haircut is playing kickball outside of her house when an unrecognizable car comes driving slowly down the street. Annoyed that she has to put her game on pause the tomboy walks to the side of the road waiting for the car to pass, except it doesn‘t, it pulls up right next to her. The man driving the car is going on and on about his lost dog. The little girl apologizes because she hasn‘t seen any dogs wandering around her neighborhood. Before the man drives… Read more »

Yes Means Yes: Rape Culture and Teaching Sexuality

*Trigger Warning* Fuck the police. When this phrase is used, I argue that it refers to “police” collectively, rather than each individual.  Although some folks may curse and spit at every police officer they see, generally this phrase doesn’t target the individual but instead the system in place. Much like when I say “I hate men.”  I don’t actually mean that I hate every individual man.  What I mean is that I hate that our society values and favors men over women.  I hate the Patriarchy and how it socially conditions. This past week, I finally got my hands on “Yes Means Yes!: Visions of Female Sexual Power and a World Without Rape,” a book edited by Jaclyn Friedman and Jessica Valenti that deconstructs the way our society views and… Read more »

The Problem With Grey Rape

Written by Danielle Paradis and cross-posted with permission from Fem2pt0. Recently, in an article for the Good Men Project , I referred to “grey rape” a term popularized by Cosmopolitan in a 2007 article titled “The New Kind of Date Rape.” I continue to place scare quotes around the term because while it does the work of communicating the issue that I am trying to talk about, it is also a term that can lead to victim-blaming—and that is not something I ever want to do. “Grey rape” implies that rape occurs on a spectrum. In order to discuss the problematic issue of rape being on a sliding scale, some key terms and ideas need to be identified and expanded upon. This idea of ‘grey rape’ is surrounded by context…. Read more »