October 15, 2026

The Real Reason Gen Z Might Be Having Less Sex

Studies are showing higher rates of loneliness and less sexual activity among Gen Z than previous generations. Everyone is theorizing about why this might be the case and what the implications might be. Conservatives are concerned that Gen Z isn’t producing enough of the “right kind” of children. Consequently we’ve seen a rapid defunding of teen pregnancy prevention programs and an increased promotion of pro – natalist values. For instance, at the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) in March 2026, conservative influencer, Isabel Brown, encouraged women to have the “courage” to marry younger and have more babies than they can afford before they think they’re ready. Studies associated with more moderate to liberal views however, indicate that Gen Z faces more mental health challenges and are living at home longer than previous generations. More progressive outlooks from older generations characterize Gen Z as increasingly sensitive, lazy, entitled, socially awkward, and social media obsessed.

As a Gen Z, heterosexual woman myself who has honestly felt strong resistance to sex and dating recently, I believe both perspectives are wrong. One thing I can admit, however, is that we are spending an enormous amount of time on social media. Although the types of content we are consuming, in my opinion, is more concerning than the social media use itself. More and more young men in particular are looking to manosphere content for guidance on health, dating, sex, finance, parenting, and general lifestyle advice. But these supposed attempts at supporting so-called “lost boys” disparage women and feminist ideologies in the process. Within these communities, there are different groups like “incels” who believe men are entitled to sex from women and “pick up artists” who teach men how to manipulate women into having sex with them. There’s evidence that these communities normalize violence against women and provide platforms that perpetrators of mass shootings are heavily engaged with. 

Lucky for me, many of these ideas have infiltrated the minds of my dating pool to different degrees. As a result, when I agree to go on a first date, any excitement I feel is often overshadowed by a long list of considerations as I strategize on how to keep myself safe physically and emotionally. For instance, I’m always advocating to meet up in public and not too late at night. I love hiking, but that’s unfortunately off the table. If my date offers to pick me up, I decline the offer, even though I hate driving. Any sense of ease I might feel from not driving immediately dissolves when I think about the potential of being made uncomfortable and needing to escape. Lastly, I calculate how expensive the activity is, who’s paying for it, and how this might shape our dynamic moving forward. Should I offer to split the cost? If my date offers to pay, should I let them? What does my date believe I owe them at the end of the night? A kiss? Sex? More dates? A relationship? And if they feel they weren’t adequately compensated for their money/time, what are the consequences of that?

I was reminded of this internal dance recently following a first date with a man that I decided I did not want to move forward with. Even though I was reluctant, I communicated as much to him, and received the response of my nightmares:

“I’d appreciate it if you cash app’d me for the movie ticket. Since I effectively got my time wasted. I’ll cover the food. (He included his cashapp)The ticket is $18. Have a good one.”

After reading that text, my heart dropped, and my mind began to spiral. I broke down in tears, not solely as a result of this interaction, but due to the sadness and frustration I felt after an accumulation of at best, disappointing, and at worst, violent experiences I’d had in my attempts to find connection. I sensed that this guy was angry, and I felt afraid of retaliation if I didn’t send the money. Initially, I questioned if he was at all justified in his request. But after processing and discussing with family and friends, I came to find the message disrespectful and wildly entitled. I felt embarrassed that he even felt comfortable enough to make that request. He was treating me like a criminal who’d stolen something from him and now owed him as if he didn’t offer to pay in the first place. I never have intentions of wasting someone’s time or using them when I go on a date, and I felt it was unfair to suggest that I did. I didn’t send the money, and I blocked him. 

As human beings, we enter dates with desires and hopes, fears and traumas, and best and worst case scenarios. But we often don’t communicate these things prior to connecting with a person. In addition, we enter dates with our different identities and backgrounds, and our expectations are often painted by cultural and social scripts that inherently create certain power dynamics within our interactions.The patriarchy tells men that they should lead romantic and sexual interactions, therefore, their desires become dominant. At a certain point, it all becomes too much. In my life, dating is not a requirement for survival. I often feel it is the opposite – a threat to my health and survival. There’s been long points in my life where I just opt out to avoid the stress and anxiety that often comes with attempting to build relationships with men. Because why would I willingly walk into a bear trap (pun intended)? The risks are beginning to outweigh the potential benefits.

My experiences reminded me of a viral debate circling Tik Tok about a  voice memo a man sent to a woman after a first date. He stated, 

After a first date between a man and a woman, the man sent a voice message sharing that while he thinks she “lovely,  if they were to meet at her place following their initial date, he would be “looking to have that physical intimacy” to determine if he was “sexually compatible” with her. His message indicated that she had already expressed reservations about this request and yet still, he made it clear that gauging their “romantic and physical spark” would be necessary for his “own sake.” Ending the call with an ultimatum, the man shared that if she wasn’t interested “hook[ing] up” with him on their next date, then they should “go [their] separate ways.”.

Some creators praised the man for being honest with this woman about his expectations and giving her the option to go forward or not with this new information. However, users have discovered other men sending messages to women that are almost identical to that of the voice memo guy, suggesting that they are being coached by a pick up artist. There are arguments being made that the message is manipulative because the woman already communicated that she was unsure, and consent education tells us that “I don’t know” means no. And even if she did agree to have sex, she is allowed to change her mind at any moment. Communicating expectations as ultimatums for continued connection comes off as coercive and creates an unfair and potentially dangerous dynamic. What if instead, all parties’ desires were communicated prior to connection, and dynamics could be co-created and negotiated upon rather than being stated solely by the party with more physical, social, and political power?

This is all occurring under the backdrop of a precarious sociopolitical environment. The “Me Too” movement has inspired hope that a culture can be created that prioritizes consent; however a 2024 study found that rates of sexual violence largely remained stagnant nine years later. Additionally, with the overturning of Roe v. Wade in 2022, prospects of dating and making connections has become increasingly unattractive as the contexts surrounding them become more risky. In our current, 21st century social landscape, we can rely on our phones and social media for a less hazardous, more fallible, but ultimately artificial sense of connection. But as we spend more and more of our time on the internet, we find it is overcome with more red pill content than healthier, more progressive expressions of masculinity. More and more people are choosing to be single and live independently as a husband is no longer a requirement for survival. A viral Vogue essay titled, “Is Having a Boyfriend Embarrassing Now?” sparked controversy, but one part in particular stuck out to me,

“Heterosexuality has long been purposefully indefinable, so it is harder for those within it, and outside of it, to critique. However, as our traditional roles begin to crumble, maybe we’re being forced to reevaluate our blind allegiance to heterosexuality. “

So, where do we go from here? Until laws and social attitudes see a structural shift towards eradicating the entitlement men feel towards the sexual and reproductive choices of those capable of childbirth, we will continue to see high rates of conflict, resistance, and tension within our romantic and sexual dynamics. And this is bad news for us all.