Em-URGE-ing Voices

Your urgent thoughts, urging action

Stop Telling Me What to Do

Posted by

March 22, 2016

This is an open letter to men (and women) everywhere.

Stop telling me what to do. I’m so tired of seeing posts all over social media telling women what to do. Stop bullying me and trying to force me into becoming a girl who hates herself. Each comment you make is like a double-edged sword in my side.

I don’t need you to tell me that if I wear too much make-up that I’m fake or trying too hard then, in same the breath, tell me that if I’m not wearing any make-up that I’m lazy or don’t try hard enough. Meanwhile, in both cases you make the argument “If only girls could love themselves and appreciate their beauty.”

How the hell do you expect us to love ourselves when you’re sitting there, ragging on every single attempt we make at self-love?

You rag on us for altering our appearance in ways that make us feel beautiful. You rag on us for “being basic” and liking things like pizza, pumpkin spice ANYTHING, yoga, and bath bombs. You rag on us every time we appreciate our beauty & take a selfie. You literally hate on our appearance and then hate on what we like/do in order to make ourselves happy.

Ladies, we’re guilty of this, too. I don’t need those bullshit posts about how we’re supposed to take care of “our men” like their some kind of infants in need of a diaper change and some smashed peas. I don’t need any of those posts telling me to “be a Audrey Hepburn, not a Marilyn Monroe.” Let me BE whatever I want. I want you to be whatever YOU want!

I don’t need these constant reminders of how acceptable it is to police a woman’s body. I get enough of that as a woman living in Texas, fighting tooth & nail for my right to have control over my own reproductive health.

I know, I know, I shouldn’t take these things to heart. And I don’t. But I know that there are girls who are fighting every damn day to love themselves, then see shit like body shaming and crumble. I know that there are girls who brush it off at the time, but find that they’ve internalized these words later when they’re being extra careful to do just the right amount of contour and not too much eye-shadow.

Honestly, I’m just so exhausted by people constantly telling me what to do. I already have problems with authority, the last thing I need is people who are supposed to be my friends, making subtle jabs at myself and others. STOP.

I’m not shaving my arm-pits; no, I don’t care if you think it’s gross. I’m not going to stop liking pumpkin spice EVERYTHING and I’m not going to end my love affair with pizza just because it’s trendy. I’m not going to start wearing more make-up in order to look “more together” because to be completely honest, I feel like an alien with eyeliner. And I’m going to fight every damn day not to hate the weight that I’ve gained due to college & my birth control, because let’s face it, I’d rather be fat than pregnant. (PSA: FAT IS NOT A BAD WORD)

Stop telling me what to do and just let me live.



Photo by Charlotte Astrid via: Flickr

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